On Healing the Shadow Self

The shadow self is an aspect of us we choose not to look at, it’s where we carry the greatest pain and it contains the parts of us we don’t want to accept. When left unchecked, it can be harder for us to give or receive love. However, when we actively seek to heal and accept the darkness within as we cultivate our self awareness, we find the missing fragments of our true self and become more whole as a person.


Fear plays a significant part in keeping the shadow self hidden. It’s why many of us would rather numb our senses than face the aspects of us that need healing. I am guilty of this, most of us are, it’s a part of being human. But as we shine a light on the darkness within and release the pain that formed barriers around our hearts, we come closer to revealing our true self and begin to feel more unconditional love.

To love conditionally leaves us susceptible to experience pain, as certain conditions are not met, so too does the divine connection that heals and unifies us gets severed. To love unconditionally, however, allows for ease, grace, and divinity to become a common part of our every day experience.

Sure it’s wise to discern and remove ourselves from situations that may harm us or isn’t to our benefit, but in the midst of the chaos, can we maintain the fire that burns through the illusions of ego, negative beliefs, and expectations? Can we allow love to transform and take shape into something else entirely when challenges arise?

The power of unconditional love has all too often been placed in the hands of those who seem infallible, gurus, spiritual teachers, gods even, but is it possible to integrate this godly ability in ourselves? Is it possible for us to put no expectations or conditions upon life and all its creations, despite all our flaws?


As I learn how to integrate the dark aspects within me, I am finding how powerful it can be to forgive myself. Without forgiveness, I cannot release the anchors that bind me to the patterns and behaviors which bring distress and heartache into my life.

Do we integrate the darkness or do we resist it? Resistance can become a downward spiral that persists the more you resist. All I’m sayin’, and what I’m learning to do, is how to let go of my bullshit by accepting it and moving on through life with unconditional love, if that’s even possible.


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